Rest

Writing today has two purposes. First is relative to my own perspective. I've had almost one week of rest and obligation free living. What I mean by that is, a week ago Monday I sold my house after over a year on the market and much pain and suffering to me and the girls. All of our belongings have been packed up and put into storage. The girls also left last Thursday for their annual pilgrimage to the East Coast to visit our family. Not having a home or many things to tend to can be a very freeing feeling. It can also cause a person of the "type A" personality to over think what is next...

Doing what I can to remind myself I now have a clean page to write on is forcing me to look at everything in a new perspective. Yes, this is good. However, it is also difficult. I don't think many people could say at the middle of their lives (and yes I am at the middle of my life) they can easily change all of their thought processes and behaviors and try something new. I do welcome it, but I'm struggling with how to embrace it all the same. Rest is what my soul needs right now. Thank goodness I have Carol (and Bill) to help make that happen. I can honestly say, I have felt more loved and a sense of family in the last two weeks than I have since my grandmother passed away 14 years ago.

The other Rest I speak of is as an onlooker. Someone very dear to me is struggling with sleep issues. I wish it was as easy as taking a pill so my friend's body could get the rest it needs but I know it's something much more than meets the eye. When I look very closely I can see the pain (the lack of rest) and it causes me pain that I am helpless to do anything about it. There is so much truth in the saying the eyes are the windows to the soul.

Once upon a time I used to pray to have the insight to better understand others. I'm not sure when it happened, but looking upon the face of my loved one, I know I understand so much better than I prayed for what is going on that the rest of the world doesn't see.

As my day draws to an end, I look forward to sleep, and another day ahead of me. I also can't wait to see how many Asian porn comments I have to reject on this posting, but that too gives me a topic of conversation for another day.

Rest well my friends.