What The….

I wish I could come up with something clever to say whenever I’m having one of those moments. My coworker Heidi says, “What The” and just stops it there. I think she can get away with it because she just has one of those adorable infectious smiles…ALL OF THE TIME. If you know me at all, you know that is NOT me. My smile is more of a “ok, shut up now” or “you really have no idea what I’m thinking” sort of thing…
Since my 18 month engagement (and by engagement I’m talking about work and not my personal life) just ended my schedule has completely changed. I went from work 70+ hours a week, to working 40 and having time to join a gym, starting grad school (again), go to dinner with friends, tend to parental duties and reading books for leisure. It’s been really nice but also difficult. Change is never easy for anyone. I don’t care who you are…and if you are reading this says “oh that’s not true” just shut up, you are full of crap.
I would like to think I do not need to measure my worth by what a earn for a living, how good I look in skinny jeans, or how many dinner parties I get invited to but I know I’m not quite as socially retarded as all of that…. I do care….a little…
Lately I have just had so many of those moments when I want to just express that something is not quite the way I want it but don’t have the right words to fit the occasion. Next problem is, if I did have the words to fit the occasion I probably couldn’t say them because THAT social educate rule has not yet been obliterated by reality TV. If it was having my boob falling out of my shirt or showing off my muffin top that would be acceptable but cursing is still a No No. So what’s a girl to do? I think I’m going to go look up some cute sounding Eskimo phase for “Go Play with your poopy” or “Your butt and your face are in the wrong positions” and use those…sure that will make me feel better.